Back into the circulation pt. 2

Ok, this goes from top to bottom.
#1 is Specs. He wasn't my first "boyfriend" but he definetly deserves to be #1. A newsie, of course.

#2 Tom. The newest "addition" to my "collection" >:)

#3 Q2, from Star Trek Voyager, what else?! He was my first official "boyfriend". Isn't he cute?! He sings, too!

#4 DON'T ASK

#5 is indeed a doll. But he's so amazing!

#6 Brighton Sheffield from The Nanny. Not amazingly cute but his character made me love him for some reason.

#7 is a REAL LIVE PERSON! :O His name is Charlie and he lives in the U.K. Isn't he adorable?! *cutesy face*

#8 is real, too! That's Ryan. Both Ryan and Charlie have youtube accounts. Feel free to check them out.

#9 Nick Jonas, and no, I'm not joking!

#10 be Itsuki and despite the fact he's made of paper, he's actually very hawt.

There, that wasn't so difficult now was it?
~P

Back into the circulation

of my boring life. I spent 3 days straight at Sabrina's house this long weekend while my parents were gone. It was really fun and it certainly surprised me how I didn't even get fed up with her. (Spending too much time with a friend can get to my head sometimes.)
So, since I need to get that "serious" blog post down there out of the way, lets talk about something much more fun. Boyfriends. My boyfriends. And yes, that word is plural. They most certainly are not really my boyfriends but a girl can dream, can't she? My imagination has many different settings and there's a boy for this heroine on every one. Of course, the more boys, the more things to think about.
Lets list them all. :) (Kind of starting to bunch up, please bare with me.)

Well... Bye guys.

Abandoned
Pronunciation: \ə-ˈban-dənd\
Function: adjective
Date: 14th century
Definition:
1 : wholly free from restraint
2 : given up : forsaken
^^^^ That's me. Two of the most common people I'm with after school have new and better friends. One of them, she does hang out with me nearly every day but it's been 3 or 4 days we haven't done anything so I basically feel helpless and lonely. (It's called co-dependency and it freakin' sucks.) The other one really has ditched me. Whenever I ask if she's busy she tells me she has to meet her two other friends at a coffee joint in town. I'm being passed over for overly priced espresso and two people who show up at your house what seems to be every day. But I'm not complaining, just... Explaining.

Insecurity through gold-flecked eyes

I've been way too hard on myself lately. Every time I look in the mirror I bust out into tears and cry like Ma just shot Yeller. I'm not ugly. I'm not fat. So why do I cry? I love my style, my hair, and I most love my lashes but I cry anyhow. I don't think I'm skinny enough. My butt is too round. I'm sickly pale; my face looks like I rubbed a used frying pan all about it, it's so shiny. I used to wish I could be 5'2" now I wish just my legs could somehow add up to be just that much.
But everyone wants to change something about themselves, my list is just particularly long...
Look what I found! Me and my crazy interest in Victorian inspired fashions. It's called Steampunk and it's absolutely amazing. ...
Ok so I was going to put up a few pictures but blogger is disagreeing with me... So here's some urls: (And feel free to look it up, it's really cool)
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs48/f/2009/192/c/a/Steampunk_Outfits_Design_by_Kitsunekari02.jpg

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLL7Lxe4ahyphenhyphendGlSO9YmtxCiYb6DpYD5IhBubqtYSD0udve3L5FsoLKVD-JTbMDanqkDbBUF6Op_72eD7SAPZiT-GVu9yAx6x-sOV3_nPpNSBm6RS0kb0MH76mAnMj9KI8DFVKZq_XDjlU/s400/ashesandempires.etsy.com+1.jpg

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=steam%20punk&order=9&offset=120#/d1fpa7l

I'd never wear this stuff, of course. (Waaay too costume-y not to mention expensive) But I've always found ways to hide elements of Loloita, Harijuku, cosplay even, and just about any other weird Japanese style into my own clothes. I'm not into all of that stuff as much as I used to be but I'll still always like it a little.

It's 90 degrees outside and I'm in skinny jeans and a black hoddie. Hooray self consciousness and slow laundry flow. Cheers to those who only own 2 pairs of shorts and have lazy older sisters.
~P

Bending you down underneath my thumb...

I feel like a water balloon of emotion today. But I mean that in a good way. I'm probably going to hit another break though with my Newsies fanfiction and pop out yet another brilliant chapter. (It's located here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5571879/1/Angela ) It's just my character, Angela, running from her brother now. I've really got to get Spot and Kid Blink hooked up with my other two heroines. I wish I knew how Angela is going to meet her match but she wont even tell me yet. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
I'm getting that... feeling. Have you ever felt like you want something so badly but no matter what you do... you'll never get it. Like, it's literally impossible. I usually only feel like that about people, famous people. I just see a picture of that person and want to cry out. It's not like I want them because they're sew hawt ohmaigawsh. It's because I've let myself think so highly of them. Take Specs for example. I picked him out of a crowd of 20+ singing, dancing, shirtless teenage boys and decided he was my newsie. His character had zero background or personality so I took it on myself to turn him into Mr. Perfect. And I did. He became this brilliant creature to me and I just had to have him. But he wasn't real. Sure the actor was and still is but he's nothing like the man I made him into and by now Mark David is nearly 40! (Ok, sorry but, yuck.) Sorry sexy Spexy, I'll never have you. So you know what I did the first time I figured that out? I cried. Flat out bawled for 20 minutes! Sure it's pathetic, I should have known better, but doesn't it just sound devastating? I'm suddenly trying to turn Tom into that same perfect boy but I know two things about that him I cannot change:
1. I'll never meet him

2. He is literally a player and a master at 1-night-stands. I can't get myself mixed up in those. I could ramble on and on the reasons why a 1-night-stand is pointless and pathetic but I really don't have the time.

We're almost done with Alice In Wonderland at school and thank God! I don't think I could stomach another Zip a Dee or Doo Dah. In fact, I don't even think I can hold the ones I already have down. The play went pretty well and now all we have to do is go to a couple of elementary schools and hypnotize the booger picking brats for a few days. Wa. Hoo. My make-up and hair were cool, though. My older sister was home from college and opted to help me do my do.
My song is playing. I feel like everyone has a song that always hits them and makes them cry. Mine is Ocean Size Love by Leigh Nash. It just reminds me of how I'm too attached to my imagination. Sometimes, it makes me cry even.
Ok, enough talk of salty tears and runny noses.

Sims is awesome.
Ohkay...
Bye!
~P

*Ahem*

Dear Mr. Tree,

I apologize for breaking off a branch of yours and even ripping out some of your leaves, but you are crowding my swing set. I would appreciate it greatly if you did grow out your limbs elsewhere.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Grace

But chu ah 3 inches tall, Alice. Chu ah!

I'm proud of myself. I ate very well today. I resisted junk food twice today and lasted 7 hours without eating! I'm not anorexic, just trying not to eat compulsively. I never ate ANYTHING during the winter because I was never hungry, but now that it's spring all I can think of is food. Ugh...
Having Sabrina around doesn't help much either. She loves to eat and we have so much junk food at my house. It's like Wonderland here.
On another note.... Forever21 is stalking me or something. It's a little unsettling but at the same time exciting. My style is in style! It's doll-inspired I believe, too. Funny, huh? :p
I know what I'm doing with all of my dolls now, speaking of them. Annnnnd I got my mom to let me get 2 more so William and Holly are last on my list. Don't think of me as strange, but I'm actually getting Holly so I can turn her into myself... *flinches* It's sounds spooky now but I think it will turn out cute!
Ok... Not so much then.

Goodbye, goodbye.
P